Technically speaking, I'm still in America. Apparently the Global Association of Whoever, otherwise known as "they" decided that its politically incorrect to introduce myself as an American. At least that's what my Spanish teacher tells me. But truly, I've never felt more American than now, being by far the minority though hopefully not in the stereotypical arrogant American way! I respect this culture and that Peruvians live the way they do, however I am not Peruvian. and that's ok! I can have cultural humility and yet love my homeland just as much as the Peruvian. In fact, this realization has led me to recognize this trait in myself, and put it in the spotlight for a second.
Loyalty is generally considered a positive characteristic. Although I am happy to say I am a loyal person, but, as my closest and dearest circle knows, its not always in my favor! Here adjusting to this new way of life, and missing my American conveniences, again it has struck close to my heart. I miss my family, i miss my friends, I miss frosted-mini-wheats, Dunkin Donuts, a steady paycheck, my bike. I miss San Diego beaches, and road signs in English. I miss Helvetica font on store fronts, and I miss one stop shopping at Target. And amazon prime. Boy, do i miss free 2 day shipping.
In some of the lower points during this adjustment process, I've come to elevate some of these conveniences to a place they don't belong. (I would pay big bucks for a donut) And this morning, the Lord has given me clarity and I'm happy to share this with my loyal readers. (Hi mom and dad) The Christian walk is similar to living in another country, choosing to leave the comfortable behind, not following the natural selfish man. And no loyalty to that way of life will do anyone any good. The Lord calls us to forsake mother and father, and to even hate them in comparison to our devotion to Christ. That is SUCH a hard word for someone like me. Someone who fiercely loves the people in her life, her everyday comforts and american cereals. How am I going to make it here in this new world? It was this question that made me recognize this issue of loyalty- and the desperate reality that I need to be loyal to the death [of everything else except] Jesus.
The psalmist David over and over proclaims that only God satisfies his heart, and God is the only one He seeks after, early in the morning, late in the night. His enemies, physical, spiritual, emotional, seek to overwhelm him and He cries out to the One who satisfies his heart. Oh that He would satisfy mine!! Is God enough? Of course! More than enough, but my wandering heart deceives me and those thoughts find me in my low moments and tell me no. Things would be better if only... this. Or I will be having an easier time when... that. Nope. False.
So Peru, here we are. and Lord, here you are. Never leaving or forsaking me. Equipping me with your power and none of my own. Because I've got nothing apart from Him- and He is enough!